Call Summary-Light is in this post…for all of the juicy details, check out the recording here ==> HappinessFormula5-9-12

Happiness is a ultra-critical element in the purpose pie. When you are happy you are likely to have the energy, focus and drive to seek and act on your purpose and greatest impact.  AND when you acting on purpose and making your greatest impact, you will surely be happy. (Or at least you will, unless you have some other emotional drain in your life.)  So there is a bit of a chicken-egg thing going with this one, yet even so, it makes sense to examine what is likely to make us happy.

A recent interview that Darren Hardy, of Success Magazine did with Deepak Chopra really intrigued me, and I wanted to share some high points.

For him personally, Deepak defined happiness as being successful in four main areas of life

1) Material Abundance

2) Love and Relationships

3) Health and Well-Being

4) Spirituality and Consciousness (intuition, creativity, soul)

Not one of these along, but more it is a holistic balance of firing on each of these cylinders that Chopra claims does the trick. There are plenty of people that succeed financially but are poor in their health, or in their relationships, and there are plenty of other imbalances that could come from over-focus in one area.

Another point he made was how happiness has an extreme positive impact on your health. A recent study cited that being in the happy category will have the ability to reduce the risk of dying by 35%.  As much as a brisk daily walk.  When you are happy you produce all kinds of neuropeptides and neurotransmitters in your brain that are anti-depressants, like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, etc., so you are getting the benefits associated with these chemicals.  Woo hoo!

Listen to the call recording here HappinessFormula5-9-12 to find out more details about Deepak’s personal recipe for happiness, that includes his list of daily healthy habits, serving others (with attention, affection and appreciation) and having a worthy goal each day.

Last and not least, Deepak spoke of the “formula” for happiness that social scientists have derived. It is H = S + C + V.

Happiness = Set Point in the Brain + Conditions of Living + Voluntary Choices.

The Set Point specifics were the most interesting to me. I knew of a happiness set point, but did not realize that it takes up as much real estate in the deal is 50%  (Conditions of Living was 10-15%, and remainder is your Choices, which his 35-40%)

In the first 3-4 years of your life, your mirror neurons take on a neurological pattern influences by the people you were most around. Yikes!  This is what influences the glass half-empty or half-full personalities that most of us have. Interesting. But we can impact our own set points by things like self-reflection, cognitive analysis and quieting the mind – basically things that will shift and interrupt our knee-jerk ruts we have created in our thought-patterns.

Conditions of Living – What is going on in your life has an impact. Some studies show that people who are highly focused or obsessed with money to the exclusion of other things, are the most unhappy. So get this, this does include the very poor AND the very wealthy in that unhappy stew.

Voluntary Choices – Bottom line – go for the more sustainable choices to make you happy. Yes, the glass of wine, or shopping spree may make you happy, but the choices of time or money that enable you to contribute something to others, or to a greater cause, or to create a memory, are all more sustainable choices when it comes to impacting your lasting happiness.

Good news for YOU!  If you are here as part of the PWP tribe, then it is NO news to you that making an impact pays huge dividends on fulfillment!

A study’s interesting spin on happiness at work (that I read about in Harvard Business Review) showed that moment to moment focus and engagement, way more than title, status, etc. was what  impacted one’s happiness.  Check out the call - HappinessFormula5-9-12 for more on this, as well as some comments from the listeners on their own Set Point and what makes them happy!

I would be incredibly HAPPY for you to comment below. So, what are the things that make you the happiest, small or large?  If you are feeling brave, share whether you think your set point for happiness is on the high or low side? Why do you think that happened?  Have you done anything to alter it?

Call Recording here==> PWPCall4-25-12-Ownership Including great specific examples of owning aspects of your life that can have a great impact on your success.  Some of my take aways from our call….

You’re heavily focused on the idea of ownership at work, when it comes to your role and responsibilities. In fact, these days, with the demands placed on you at work or in business, if you don’t own it, you’re sunk. But where do you get tripped up when it comes to taking “ownership” in other aspects of your life?  It could be more than you’d like to admit. Here’s a few opportunities to consider ratcheting up your ownership:

1) Your Feelings – The first step is to realize that your feelings are just that. YOUR feelings. You create them and no one around you, no matter how it appears can make you feel any particular way. This as an age-old adage, but it is way easier to understand this one intellectually, than to apply it to our lives. It is more easy to say, “You make me so frustrated!” Reality is, you are feeling frustrated. You can take responsibility for that one, and be in control of what you do about it.  Feelings also tell us things. Noticing what is going on when you are really confident or in the flow, is a great indicator of what is working for you and something to move toward. Noticing what IS frustrating you can make you aware of what you might need to change or eliminate – or maybe it is time for you to change your response. (You can do that, you know!)

2) Your Time – Seems so basic, but have you really examined where your time goes each day? Time slips through our fingers with so many distractions coming at us on email, social media, net surfing, crisis du jour, and so on.  Your time is tough to own when you are yanked in a million directions, but you can combat this. Be conscious of where you are spending your time, by keeping a priority list by quarter, month, week or even higher level – for the year. Be sure that given the laundry list of things you COULD be spending your time on, your time is aligning with your short list of top priorities. And make time for your big leap or passion areas on that list. Even if you can only carve out a little time here and there toward it. It gets you closer to where you want to go AND energizes you when you have to spend time on more mundane but obligatory things.

3) Your Energy – Oh, know. Do we have to go here? Do we need to tell you again, to be aware of toxic and draining people and environments? Yes, most of us (me included!) need to hear this one periodically.  Be aware of what boosts your energy (do more of!), and what drains you (avoid as much as possible!).  Also, I love Ginny’s point about being aware of what energy you are bringing into a situation.  Have some forethought before an interaction or a meeting and decide (own!) your role and what energy you are bringing into the situation. Ginny gave an example of walking into a standing staff meeting in her corporate days — one that was typical negative, and deciding she was there to support her people. She would bring positive energy, not dread to the meeting.

Owning all of these areas ultimately wraps up to the big cahuna–owning your POWER.  When you own things like your feelings, time and energy, you will be more confident and directed, and naturally be able to make better decisions.  Powerful decisions that come from your core, and keep you in the driver’s seat to success.  So what are you waiting for? Own it, and grab the wheel!

To read the recent article Ginny wrote on Owning It that was a foundation to our conversation, click here.

Where did this post/call hit home with you?  How could you do better OWNING IT and what will you do about it?

The recording for today’s call here (39 minutes) ==> PWPCall4-18-12-ExecutiveDerailers .   John Madigan , Executive Coach, Consultant, and CEO of Executive Talent Services, LLC came on the call with us to share the most common, negatively impacting characteristics of today’s executives.  We’re calling them de-railers since if they go unaddressed they absolutely have the potential to dash your chances for career success.

The good news is, as de-railing as these executive flaws are, in most cases, with the right intervention, they are definitely possible to change.

Whether by your boss’ feedback, a performance review, 360 process or merely through a trusted and truth-telling colleague or friend, the first step is that your issues are called to your attention so you can see their impact to others and to your work.  Once you can name them, you can truly begin the process.  Then for each one, you’ll need to identify what it will look like when it has improved.  It is not quantifiable, like raising the price of a stock, or delivering more sales or widgets. Improvement may be: the better reaction, morale or productivity you are getting from your team or the demonstration of the new or better skills you’ll obtain. But like any change – knowing what you are shooting for in the end-game, and why, will create the goal to drive you forward.

Four Top Executive De-Railers:

1)  Overuse of a Strength:  There is no doubt, being bright, ambitious and driven is a strength.  This strength expressed in the extreme can cause the executive or leader to not treat people well, or to be tough on his or her team.  Results-strong people may not be great at strategic thinking, or at adapting.  Sometimes really great relationship managers, may not execute as well. These are generalizations, yet concrete examples of strengths turned deficits. In the words of leadership coach guru Marshall Goldsmith, what got you here won’t always get you there.

2)  Over-Reliance on a Technical or Functional Skill:  In the same family as #1, more specifically, some times you can over-rely specifically on your technical or functional areas of specialty and not put energy into broadening your learning.  Despite the claim that we need specialists and not just generalists (this is true!), you must take initiative to also be well-rounded and cross-train.  Working in a project that is out of your typical area is one idea. Another is taking on a leadership role or a board assignment in order to gain some new or different communication or group skills. “One-trick ponies” only can get so far.

3)  Lack of Interpersonal / Relationship Effectiveness:  This is the important relationship piece of emotional intelligence.  If this is your issue, your co-workers or your team may not be as loyal, trusting or hard-working as they could be.  If you cannot relate well to them, engagement and subsequently productivity and delivery suffer. It is a fact that executives who advance up the ladder to the highest rankings and stay there – producing the greatest results in their organization, have mastered this skill. Yes, despite your wiring it is a skill that can be learned…a muscle that can be strengthened.  Active-listening is one simple (not necessarily easy) strategy that can help.  Paraphrasing back what you are hearing and pausing before trampling right back over someone’s words really shows you are listening. People need to be heard and listening is a critical skill for an executive to use as a relationship-builder.  The best leaders make those speaking feel like they are the only one in the room.

4)  Arrogance:  Tying into #3, you may need to address this de-railer if you give the impression you are the smartest person in the room, or have something to say about everything. Also, don’t be short, curt or dismissive.  No one should feel like your time is more important than theirs.  Don’t look at your PDA, the clock or your pc while someone is speaking with you or you are in a meeting. If you are wondering if you’re displaying these traits (not always easy for arrogant people to know that they do), ask a trusted colleague to tell you straight up.  It could be the best feedback you ever receive, because as smart and talented as you may be, if humility is lacking, you won’t be able to recognize and bridge gaps. Without that, how can you succeed?

Check out the recording for specific cases and more info==> PWPCall4-18-12

Do these executive de-railers resonate with you?  What other ones do you see out there and how can execs get our of their own way??

Today’s recording is accessed by Dial In:  Dial: 1-712-432-3131 / Access Code: 51348153 .   No mp3 due to a technical glitch, but you can still enjoy the recording and don’t want to miss it!  And that is the only place you get the full Rich Gee effect, so check it out! (call length -40 min.)

So this week, my guest, acclaimed executive and career coach Rich Gee, tee’ed up his top four strategies for us on bullet-proofing your career in these crazy times. Here’s my take on our talk:

1)  Up your attitude and enthusiasm.  Most people say they have it this down but you can always do better.  Seek out and act on ways to recharge and re-amp your attitude. With all of the obstacles you face and environments that bring you down, you have to have habitual ways to bring yourself back up.  You are more effective in everything you do when you keep yourself revved. You also connect better with people and come across as a “can-do” person which  anyone would want on their team.

Suggestion:  Infuse yourself with positivity by starting your day with motivational or inspirational speakers on CD in your car.  They can give you new ideas to try and the speakers’ energy and speech pattern can uplift you in minutes.  If that doesn’t work for you, stack your favorite play list and rock out. Whatever works.  Other suggestions:  Get in some regular exercise, go for walks, and when you are at the office, hang out with the positive crowd.  At all measures…avoid water cooler gossip. Its toxic and will bring you right down–resist!

2.)  Enhance your education and knowledge.  Don’t rest on your laurels (or your current college degrees, certification or years of experience).  You must stay current and be a perpetual learner.  At the basic level, know what is going on in your department.  What is your boss’ burning issue? If you want to enhance your value, stay interested and be curious. Offer to take on something that is high priority or removes a concern off his or her plate. The first person people want around is the one who makes their lives easier. In your organization, what big initiatives are coming down the pike?  What keeps your clients up at night?  What’s happening in your industry?  Suggestion: Tap online resources like Fast Company, Wired, BusinessWeek- whatever pertains to your world. Get articles pushed to your inbox, in your area of interest.  Make it easy not more work for you to stay current.

3.)  Tap your internal connectors.   Who can you get to know right in your company or in your existing circle? Make it a goal to make more connections.  Don’t eat alone at your desk or sit in from of you computer all day. It may be more comfortable to stay within your department or work-group, but that will be the kiss of death in tough times! Think of people you want to know or those you admire, and invite them to coffee or lunch. Talk to people in the elevator, stay after a meeting a compliment a presenter to connect, sit with different people at lunch (not the regulars!) and make it a goal to reach out to one new person a week.  Suggestion:  Do this NOW, before you really need it.

4.)  Grow your external influencers network.  These are the people outside of your company who are likely to be a source of information, a referral source or network builder for you. Figure out who you want to know. Target people who are at your level or even above you, and pursue them as a peer. If you approach them like you’re asking a big favor they won’t take the time. Send them a letter first to let them know you’ll be calling. To make this happen you have to make an effort.  Also, remember the adage that givers gain, so what can you share with these people?  Suggestion: Be sure to attend events already available to you where the influencers hang out:  galas and charity events, industry meetings, award receptions, company cook-outs, whatever you can..just do it.

As Rich likes to say, ” There are people who make things happen, people who watch things happen, and people who wonder what happened.  Which one are you going to be today?”

What strategies strike a chord with you and why?  What obstacles are in your way?  What can you do about it? 

Off the bat, Adrienne shared a secret with us. She used her own best advice, and joined our call, on her feet.

Adrienne shared that standing and using alignment of your body can be super important, since your body is the instrument of your voice.  You need to pay attention to your body, and tend to it, just like you would care for any other instrument you play.

• Alignment is important for optimal vocalization.  When you stand or at least sit up straight, you are elongating your spine. When standing you want to have your weight on both of your feet. When you are collapsed while seated or standing, you cannot make the best use of your voice.  It will show.  Standing not only helps to physically make yourself taller or bigger, psychologically it does as well.  You come across with greater confidence in your energy and tone.
• Standing up helps you settle down.  Your heartbeat will regulate and your will feel more grounded and anchored.  It can eleviate your nerves.

Cues of the voice to notice in yourself or others:

• Volume. Someone who is speaking in a hushed tone may be uncomfortable for some reason, or lack privacy, or in that circumstance may lack confidence.  If this is a pattern, it may reflect overall confidence issues. But don’t assume. Sometimes cultural components can influence why people speak a certain way.  In some cultures, woman speak softly in business or else they are perceived as rude or uneducated. Speaking loudly may not always really mean confidence. It can many times be masking lack of confidence.  It may even just be the person was raised in a loud home environment. (I resemble that remark.)
• Pace.  Talking very quickly is hard for others to understand. You may not be aware how this is being received. If it is happening due to circumstances and is not a typical pattern, your fast pace could be projecting some urgency, nervousness or impatience.
• Energy.  You can discern when someone is coming across vibrantly by the pace and volume of their voice.  And you can notice differences from their typical pattern. Someone who is usually vibrant, might have a flat or monotone voice another time. What is causing this mood? If you are in that mood and need to come across more energetically you will need to do things that help alter your mood and energy.
• Emotion.  With family and those you know very well you can tell in an instant- the moment they answer the phone or say hello in a meeting, whether they are up, feeling good, or down.

Coca Cola has won the branding game. They are ranked as the #1 identifiable brand on the market. If a company brand is doing what it should, it evokes a clear emotion and sends you a consistent message about what it stands for. Coke wants you to feel good, and happy about life. Hence their commercials with people passing Coke bottles to strangers on the street, and polar bears sharing a nice and frosty with each other on the tundra. (Coca Cola also now has a philanthropic movement to “do” good by saving the species also.)  Organizations like this can put a bunch of money to the issue of  brands and online identity. Yet, even if you cannot afford to put tons of money into your own personal brand, you can’t afford to ignore that you need one.  Today, Loretta Peters, Branding and Online ID Strategist, came on my PeopleWithPurpose call to share why you do and where you can start.

Recording is here===> PWP Call 3-28-12

What is your personal brand? Your personal brand firms up your statement of who you are, what is different about you and it sets the stage for how you connect with others – as much in face to face networking, as in online circles. It establishes what you stand for and who you are as a person.  It need not be the literal header on a resume or tagline on your website (although sometimes words from your brand work show up there). It is more than that, something that becomes your centerstone. It is your foundation from which you build your materials and messaging, to be sure what goes out online and with others (such as with your career  search), is aligned with who you uniquely are and the value that you bring.  Why is it key? Personalization and individuality is today’s mantra, but in fact, the brand movement began with Tom Peters with his BrandYou back in the late 1990′s. And with the uber-competitive nature of things out there, we each must differentiate or die on the vine. So c’mon folks, it’s time….

Loretta uses these elements to get started with her clients:

• Vision:  Set some goals by tying in your past with your present, to decide where you want to be. Vision looks at a problem you wish to solve.
• Purpose:  Your unique role in solving the problem.
• Values: What you bring, as you solve the problem. Your operating system. Examples could include loyalty, humor, sincerity, competition.
• Passion:  What is your WHY?  What is it about your goal, vision and purpose, that will get you jazzed at 5 a.m. to get up and go to work on it?

Call audio here==> PWP Call 3-21-12 – Survive Corp/Unemployment Adversity -Take Control

The coolest part is that his story and book, (for free at www.sjhealey.com) has nuggets that you can implement easily enough right away. And you don’t have to be a Steve to do it.  For example, when you are foreseeing or are in the corporate or unemployment storm:

• Get your financial house in order.  Steve speaks to a strategy of creating a 3-level budget analysis and plan. Level 1 is Survival, and what you need to get by. Level 2 is what you need to meet your personal and professional goals. Level 3 is what you need to inject some extras and luxury into your lifestyle.  Once you have each of these, you’ll know which to use and what changes to make, depending on your circumstances.  Steve referenced a book that changed his thinking on finances:  Rich Dad, Poor Dad, in which Robert Kiyosaki speaks to the downfall of living only on employee income, and the importance of having passive income streams, among other key financial strategies.  It influenced him to eventually take a hand in side businesses such as real estate, nutri-ceuticals and consulting, and plan intelligently for time to write his book and move more into his right livelihood and passions.
• Discover your own right path and livelihood.  Do the work of figuring yourself out, what your core strengths and talents are, and how you can use them within your life priorities and roles. Ultimately you want to create a well-rounded whole-life sense of prosperity and to do this you will need to define your unique vision of success.  For Steve, he had a watershed period of self-discovery that began when he read the book, Creating Your Right Work, Courage, Commitment and Career,by Rick Jarow, and then did some further study with him.  Another reference we would both recommend is Thriving in Mind: The Art and Science of Using Your Whole Brain, by Katherine Benziger. It is an enlightening look at your wiring and natural strengths, based on brain science. You can take the inventory in the book or online, and get a new view on how to work with your nature to your best advantage. How to leverage that info into a purposeful direction won’t always come from a book, but there are programs and coaches out there that can help. (eh-hem. Although not just me, many others also!)
• Take action aligned with your values, beliefs, vision and unique identity. Having the plan does nothing if you are not taking integrity-based action aligned with it.

Another important snippet from Steve’s life lessons: the steps he’d recommend when you’re faced with the adversity of career turbulence. He watered it down to these, and you can get more from our discussion: PWP Call 3-21-12 – Survive Corp/Unemployment Adversity -Take Control.

1) Face the problem.  You cannot change your situation until you face your challenge head on.

2) Define prosperity for you.  Your version will be different than anyone else’s. You need to know what prosperity means to you.

3) Take a holistic approach.  Look at Prosperity achievement from ALL areas and roles in your life.

4) Shift your paradigm about money. The old money and earning rules no longer apply. Steve has a 5-step plan that include:  Creating a Safety Net and Plan; Creative Expense Cutting; Creating Periods of Grace (time and $); Aligning with Integrity and Right Livelihood; and the highly important ,Transcending Fear.

So, check out Steve’s complimentary e-book and more at www.sjhealey.com to get you from adversity to abundance, to help you and others take back control and live with whole-life prosperity.

Please share a comment or idea about corporate and unemployment adversity. How have you dealt with it? Want some input from the group?

You can listen to our call:  3-14-12 PWP Call: Getting Unstuck, so you can do just that. Here’s more…

One of the most stuck times of my  life was back in 1997. My company was going through it’s biennial restructuring, and my role as a Recruiting and Retention Manager was contracting as the function was getting more centralized.  Options: I could manage people and processes on a remote team, take on more responsibility, and do work that did not appeal to me IN THE LEAST (more process than people), or I could look around in the company amid limited HR opportunities. Same time, I was privately going through an infertility stalemate (the insurance for which was paid for by my company, offering me limited job opportunities).  I was definitely feeling stuck. It was also frustrated, stressed and confused. Finally, I started moving at least one area of my life forward that I could impact, which was the career front. I explored areas of interest, started some conversations, and got some traction in my discussions around coaching. Fortunately, I felt an intuitive match.

After being with a company for ten years, where I was performing well, I could have decided to tread more water there and not have these discussions.  But again, I had hit my own wall and needed to move something forward.  It became the route to work that I love. I jumped into some training, got my own coach, told my boss I wanted to go to 80% time and he agreed.  It snowballed from there.  (Oh, and two years later, I had my first child, and another 4.5 yrs. later, my second.)

Doing the coaching work on the side gave me positive energy to do  my job at the consulting firm.  I had something that really gave me juice. I was surrounding myself with other coaches in classes and other communities who were inspiring me. And as the universe will have it, I began to attract even more people seeking me out for the coaching, because I it was so aligned with who I am.  My being stuck, despite how frustrating and stressful at the time, was a precursor to better things and I am grateful.

Reasons YOU may be stuck:

• Burn-out, with no energy or creativity to think about next steps
• Confusion-you are not clear about what to do next
• You know what you could do, but don’t act on it because it really isn’t what you want
• It is what you want, but you are nervous about putting yourself out there (fear of change or failure, or any number of things)
• You are in gridlock – you don’t want to change to do something similar to what you’re doing, but don’t know what other thing you would do
• You were forced into a transition, so your confidence is low, or you may even be depressed
• Money or obligations are the boulder in your way. You may be the higher or sole earner in your family.
• You see change as needing to be a big, purposeful move, and not having a plan for that kind of change keeps you at the status quo

Steps you can take to get UN-stuck:

• Practice extreme self-care; do what relieves your stress and gives you room to think and breathe
• To lessen the overwhelm, of a big move or decision, view the process as a puzzle. See the value in each little piece that you can put in place.
• Gain some satisfaction by moving anything forward that you can. Complete anything that is unfinished, no matter how small.
• Clear out some physical space. (drawer, car, closet, desk)
• List problems or complaints in your day to day life, and see what you can resolve.
• Name what you hate about your current work situation. Flip it around to see what you need and want. Resolve what you can. Maybe just change your view.
• Hang out with inspirational people
• Work with someone to get clearer on what you want
• Re-spark a hobby, especially something that engages your senses
• Write about your thoughts and insights, especially after a creative or physical activity

 What works when you are stuck?  Are you currently stuck?  What might you try?   

In today’s PeopleWithPurpose community call, I shared how boundaries are a theme that keeps coming up for my clients lately and for me, and even in my family. When themes come along, I like to think about why that is and what the importance of them are.

For people trying to get ahead, and especially for those trying to tap their impact and unique gifts, boundaries are hugely important. Having boundaries (set ideas and aligned actions about what you will or won’t allow in your life), helps you grow and succeed, by making conditions more optimal for your focus, energy, support, productivity, creativity and more.

Without strong boundaries, it is easy to attract negative people to you. Needy or demanding people can spot you coming a mile away. With weak boundaries, you are at the whim of others, and not able to make room for you. Your wellness, reflection, intuition, inspiration are limited when this happens and we know these elements are critical to grow and advance in all areas of your life, and especially in creating a powerful, compelling future.

Boundary Buster Alert – Be aware of the following:

Well-meaning, chatty or needy people:  If you’re  a kind, caring, giving type of person, you’re a target for this one. You’re happy to listen but somehow realize they’re tapping you for a sounding board to their woes too often and it is draining and distracting.  If you need to talk with this type at work, be the one to come by his or her office, and that way you control when you are done.

Narcissists (maybe not in the absolute pathological sense, but sure seems that way): It’s amazing how the minute you push back on someone like this who is demanding or unreasonable, many times they are oblivious. Your pushing back or creating a line in the sand will make this type of person defensive and suddenly a victim. They will likely point a finger back at you, about how you aren’t even giving enough! Don’t expect this personality to be reciprocal or understanding, and don’t waste your time over-explaining. Move along.  Jack, a colleague of mine, confronted a long-time friend whom he would meet with weekly for coffees, to share that he was feeling the conversations were mostly one-way. This person turned it back at Jack, and told him that in fact he has never been listening. Not really truly listening to him.  Amazing. At least it confirmed his decision to try to set a better boundary in the relationship. 

The work-a-holic boss, colleague, business partner: With your actions or sometimes words, you will need to educate them on the way you want to be, and the way you want to do your work. Gradually. Over time they can be tamed, without risking your livelihood. To start, try baby steps to shift how you’re responding to truly non-urgent emails or requests, or last-minute demands and changes. If you don’t guard your personal priorities, and time boundary, you can be sure that they certainly won’t.  A client of mine, Amy,  was contacted by her new boss practically all throughout her recent vacation, and finally part-way in, she just stopped answering the phone. That may seem risky, but in this case it worked out. They addressed it later, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

The day-in-and-day-out encounters you have with people who push your buttons: It isn’t always easy to deflect it or be the bigger, more philosophical one all the time.   Just this week, I had a button pushed during a meeting. Something said really hit an emotional chord, and I knew right away it was going to be a tough one for me. (check where you feel it first in your body–my face was feeling red) I did show I was emotional, I won’t lie, but I worked on my breathing and felt my feet on the floor.  I tried to become an observer and think about the person, the source, the issue, and why I was triggered, while trying not to take it personally. It was hard. Breathing from my center, slowly and repeatedly helped. Even though I was visibly struck by the comment (hey, in Myers-Briggs-speak I’m an ENFP, which means extrovert/feeler , so cut me some slack)..working on grounding my energy and building an energetic bubble around me, allowed me to come from a more calm place later when we spoke about the issue. 

More on the call recording here! ===> PWP 3-7-12Boundaries

What are your current issues with boundaries?  Are you comfortable with where yours are today?  What can you do to strengthen or extend them to make sure you keep the energy, mindset, support and strength you need to move toward your goals and dreams?